Wait, You Mean We Aren’t Going to Have Sex Now?

For some reason, men think that if I go on a date with them and find them attractive it means that I want to have sex with them on the next date. Is it because I’m already married? Is it because I openly talk about sex? Or is it because the art of wooing a woman is dying?

Granted, when a man doesn’t immediately try to get into my pants in some fashion I think something is wrong with him… or worse yet… with me. So I’m probably not helping the male population with their behavioural issues. It’s like this. I’m of an age where I want to feel like things are special. I want to have strong feelings of attraction, not just find someone aesthetically pleasing to look at.

A “gentlemanly” fellow has asked me to the movies. I have begun the process of cancelling my date with him for the following reasons:

  • He mentioned signing up for Zumba classes after the new year began
  • His Facebook posts are insufferable
  • He used “to” instead of “too” today
  • He called me “cutie”

I was almost looking forward to my nerdy date to see the new Hobbit flick up until the whole Zumba thing happened and then I immediately wrote him off as someone with whom I cannot ever have sex. Now I am in the process of not responding to text messages as frequently. It’s no real loss. It’s not as if his gentlemanly behaviour was truly sincere. His attempts at being flirtatious came off more like creepy uncle patter than as sexy date chatter.

But I digress.

No, just because I’m married it doesn’t mean I’m looking to get laid. And no, just because I let you kiss me it doesn’t mean I’m ready to fuck you. And…. no… we aren’t going to have sex on the first date or second date. This isn’t a difficult concept to grasp.




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One couple's wacky, multi-partner sex adventures and quest for poly love.


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