All the Single Dudes Now Put Your Hands Up

Every now and again the Mister will run a very non-specific ad on Craigslist that outlines our make-the-world-a-better-place-through-good-sex philosophy and our years of experience in the wacky sex realm. The intention of the ad is to “see what’s out there.” Maybe someone has a really cool fantasy that they’ve never been able to realize… we could help with that! Maybe people have questions about polyamory or multi-partner sex… we could answer those! We have some of the best conversations with people who are new to things.

He placed such an ad last week and did not add any restrictive statements such as, “no single dudes,” for we are open to talking to anyone about sex even if we aren’t interested in having sex with them. Our ads are always interesting and well-written, and we usually get bites from the kinds of people for whom the ad is intended. By “people” I totally mean “couples and hot, single bisexual chicks.” But you got that, right?

However, something went awry with last week’s ad. Perhaps we were a bit too open and non-specific…

Here’s a recap of SINGLEDUDEMAGEDDON 2013:

83% of responses were from single dudes

16% of responses were from married dudes who did not plan to tell their wives they wanted to mess around with people from the internet

33% of responses were well-written (surprisingly)

50% of responses included pictures

60% of the pictures we received were of penises

0% of the pictures we received were of a person who was looking directly at the camera and smiling

20% of the pictures we received contained dudes playing baseball (I can’t even explain this one)

Here are some of my favourite quotes:

“Well you guys just make it sound fun.”

Why, thank ya!

“I have been a pretty straight-laced guy my whole life. “

It’s only funny because. after telling us how straight-laced he is, he tells us he is lying to his wife.

“I am stationed out here as a Marine and am super horny.”

I’d like to thank this guy for serving our country while maintaining his super horniness!

I am going to respond to the well-written ads so that those men are encouraged to continue their search. We might have some interesting conversations along the way, or, perhaps, make a new friend.

Yes, we’ve done the whole MFM thing in the past, but it’s not what we’re looking for now. Sorry, single dudes (and married liars.)

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