Over the years my husband and I have been through a number of phases with out sexventures. Sometimes we were dead set on finding a girlfriend. Sometimes we were keen on meeting couples for random swap hookups. Sometimes we weren’t really certain what we wanted so we posted vague Craigslist ads and let the people decide what our next encounter would be like.
Right now though, we’re very settled into our marriage and our sexual likes and dislikes. At this point we’re more interested in companionship that is accompanied by the possibility of sexual involvement than just getting a lot of strange. We haven’t necessarily discussed it in depth, but I know we’re both at a point in our lives where we’re too grown up for the friends with whom we maintain distant (and usually Facebook) contact, and we’re also too interesting to settle for friendships with people who don’t share our mindset. I also know we’re lonely.
It’s so hard to find one person that gels with your quirks and flaws and better points, let alone two… let alone THREE. But that is the journey we’re on. We want to make that long-time connection and fall in love with the right person/people. To make it even more complicated we have to find someone we equally or at least similarly enjoy and who feels the same way about us.
On the way, we’ll go on dates with girls and couples and continue to have an interesting sex life. We’ve always had our ups and downs and arguments and honeymoon periods. Emotional turmoil is only natural when it comes to matters of the heart and/or loins. We’d really like to find someone or someones with whom we click and to whom we are both attracted.
I have to admit, I am the Seinfeld in this relationship. My husband has always credited himself as something of a bottom feeder (what does that say about me, I wonder? Hmm?.) I’m the one who has always been weirdly and very suddenly turned off by the littlest of things. A mole, a laugh, a smell, a mannerism, a strand of hair that hangs at what I consider to be an offensive angle. And I am usually the source of discord because I’m overly sensitive about the whole “equality of attraction and interaction” thing.
Standards and measures.
One day we’ll find poly-love… because we’ll never learn not to fuck our friends.