Baby It’s Cold Outside… So Let’s Have A Threesome Part II

Fun Fact: Chicks always flake on wacky multi-partner sex at the last minute. Always.

As expected, because that is 3 out of 5 planned sexual encounters go, the girl who was supposed to come over and let my husband make nice with her boobs suddenly had to take a friend to the emergency room.

We haven’t had that excuse before, so at least there’s one to add.

The most interesting excuse we’ve ever had was from a couple. The gal informed us that her husband was stuck in NYC with no wallet and that was why they couldn’t come over as planned. Why he was in NYC when he had not been the day prior is a mystery. Then there was the girl who was stuck in a huge traffic situation and kept sending us text messages about how far she had moved up in line, and that she had just pulled over to look at a map. That went on for hours before she suddenly gave up.

Obviously she was never in the car to begin with.

The most common excuses are sick children, sitters falling through, or last minute illnesses. The reality of the situation is that people get geared up and say they are going to do something adventurous, and then have little freak outs at the last minute. They weren’t honest with themselves up front, and therefore can’t be honest with us when it’s time to act. It’s understandable to a degree, but disappointing none the less.

In light of my recent unfulfilled fantasy trauma, I have demanded Mexican food and we will be watching “Premium Rush.”

I will have fried ice cream, oh yes… in my nice, clean house.

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